for the 1st time in my whole uni life. Yes, really, I left as6 0304 feeling exactly that! Well as a matter of fact, I should, and anybody with my kind of caps really shd feel depressed abt it but NEVER for me! I ain't have no least bit of concern for my caps since I first stepped into uni. Those who know me shd noe. Those who dun, now u do =)

Dr Chung (C): So, u'r jasmine? *giving the u look really familiar face*
Stressed Jasmine (J): Yeah, I'm your student. Took one of your mods.
C: oh ic. i remember u. u were in my tut? tt's y i reg u
J: *nodding away still feeling stressed*
C: so u'r in yr 3?
J: yea *nod*
C: graduating?
J: umm *nod nod nod*
C: wad r u gonna do when u grad?
J: *thinking hard* u mean which field?
C: ya ya ya
J: *showing a thinking face but "eh..." in my heart* marketing
C: u haf experience?
J: a little
C: *flips thru my confidential student profile that displays all my wonderful grades* ok, u haf taken mkt1003
J: ya
C: do u tink u can compete wid biz students?
J: no *immediate response w/o tinking*
*silence for 5 secs*
C: u took advertising!
J: ya u taught me
C: oh wad proj did u do?
J: Yeo's
C: the field, working hard.. ya tt's y i rem u
J: yea
C: u got an A for tt *flipping thru my grade book agn* and tt's the only A u got!
J: ya *forcing a weak smile* (for the 1st time i felt gross abt my grades, thanks for tt reminder)
C: so u like advertising and marketing
J: ... *dunno wad to ans*
C: do u tend to put in all ur efforts to do things u like and do not place much importance in those u dun like?
J: no (tt was a lie! I bet everyone haf such tendency rite? I mean i said no to save her the trouble of explaining to me y i shd not do such a thing bcos I alrdy know tt i shdn't do it!)
C: ok, u haf been academically weak all the way *flipping grade bk agn* but thr's gradual improvement and tt's gd
J:*nod nod* (how i wish my improvement was steep!)
-the rest was telling me to manage my study timetable properly; look thru all my mods requirement and draw up a study schedule and email a copy to her; she'll be kinda monitoring my progress and she hopes tt i can pull up my caps to at least 2.5(my current caps stand at a "proud" 2.44); she also said tt nothing much can be done now cos i'm only 2 sems away from graduation-

B4 i left...
J: so tis meeting is for all yr 3s?
C: no, we'r meeting yr 1s and 2s also *a little of hiding-something-from-me face*
J: all cnm major students?
C: not all *still the dunwanna-tell-the-truth face*
J: *show the huh? then? face*
C: for those with low cap



Yup she finally cldn't take it and decide to tell me the purpose of the meeting. I'm kinda grateful on one hand tt they are concerned abt my academic progress and want to monitor me like a primary sch kid (which i really dun mind cos it can gimmi more discipline), yet on the other, I felt really depressed aft leaving the meeting room =( =[ =< Luckily i cld complain to jialing and wanping right aft tt. Jialing was shock to noe my caps's so low cos she frequently see me studying and doing work (i do wad! maybe i'm really stupid) N wanping said tt it's so not me to be worried abt my results (yea i agree, I nv did).

For myself: I nv felt sad when I attained poor grades and was nv worried abt performing badly during exams. I studied as I pleased in a very relaxing kinda way (bcos i feel tt one shd study bcos u wan to, on ur own accord and u'r interested to explore ideas to increase ur own knowledge) such tt I tink broadly abt ideas tt i read and hence can nv finish all the assigned reading cos i take far too much time to read. So far, no regrets for taking any mods bcos all of them seem so interesting to me and up till now, i've enjoy wad i've studied so far! Maybe I shd now feel a sense of urgency and study in the appropriate manner (study strategically and study smart) to score for exams and not for leisure interest even though I'll lose my own purpose of studying. Maybe...