Found something interesting to share =)

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definitions of the following words:

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. (I can't disagree =P)

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. (How often do you stay awake during lectures? It's quite true that students keep taking down notes for fear that they might forget later on and end up not pay attention to the speaker, missing out important information)

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. (Haha true to some extent. Sometimes I will be quite lost midway through a conference but I can't disturb others in case they can't catch up too!)

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. (Win-win situation here)

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power. (Very useful tool for women!)

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. (Don't understand =P)

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. (Really?)

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. (Ahaha, lit students do lah! Don't be so bad!)

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. (Yup, it does wonders!)

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. (Really? It's a place I imagine myself to be in North Pole while surfing the net)

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. (Harlow! Not true k!)

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. (Sometimes lah!)

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. (Subjective)

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. (Yeah make it sound nicer in Ah-gong stories)

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. (That powerful? =O)

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. (No idea dude)

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. (Yeah sweet talker)

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. (Woah that's off limit)

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." (Pure FOOLISH-NESS)

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. (Hate them! Esp. if it's a he! GROSS!)

Father: A banker provided by nature. (I love it!)

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. (Count your luck)

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. (Ahaha poor chap)

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. (Haha sounds familiar? 5-year-period Opera)

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. (That's very true if you visit specialist/ private GP)